ASK SOPHY by Pansophy Illucidae

Dear Sophy,

Some time ago, I was with some friends and we decided to dabble in a little conjuring and spell-casting. It was pretty harmless stuff – you know, Grimoire of Armadel, Triangle of Solomon, daggers with demons carved into the handles – just goofing. Anyway, I didn’t think much of it at the time, but the next night I felt something lying or sitting on my chest. And each night after that, for about a week, I felt that presence. I didn’t see anything, but I felt the weight of it for sure.

Long story short, I never felt threatened by this presence, and by the second week of this activity, whatever it was started entering me. And by “entering” I don’t mean possession, if you know what I mean. Again, I still did not feel threatened. I was actually enjoying it, what with my low-life husband having gone off on a bender last year and never returning home.

Anyway, I googled what was happening to me, and lo and behold, I find out I have an incubus visiting me. Well, like I said, it never did any harm, and in fact, I think it’s done me a lot of good, so I didn’t try to do anything to stop it. It’s been real good, if you know what I mean.

So here’s my problem, Sophy, the darned thing has sort of stopped coming around so much. I mean, for a while, he came every night. Like clockwork. Then it was every other night, then once a week. Now I’m lucky if he pops in for a quickie twice a month. My gut’s telling me he’s haunting (or whatever you call it) other women. And I’m not saying I have a problem with that, you know, as long as he’s not dragging any communicable diseases back with him, but I’d really just like to have him around more often. I miss him. I miss the invisible weight of him across my body. I miss how he could go for hours without a break. I even miss the sulfurous smell he left on my bed linens and nightie. I’m not saying I want him to commit, just at least to give me more than he has been. I just don’t know how to talk to him, or even what to say. I don’t want to scare him off, but I can’t go on being his second – or tenth – fiddle. What should I do?

Sincerely,

Lonely Is The Night

Dear Lonely,

I don’t want to go all “Dr. Phil” on you, but I have to ask: “What are you thinking?” Incubi (and succubi) are notoriously bad life partners. I know how you feel when it comes to the sex. I had an experience or two myself back in my college days, but that’s really all and incubus is good for – college hijinks. Demons, by their nature, are just not very relational. They’re demons.

If, as it seems from your letter, you no longer have an interest in human partners, why not look into other ethereal partners? Find yourself a good local medium or channeler, and see if you can’t get hooked up with a nice spirit guide – preferably one with an active libido. ;-) A kind spirit may not have the raw animalism of an incubus, but in the end, slow and steady wins the race, right? Who knows, you may just find Mr. Right instead of Mr. Wight.

THE END

* * *

Pansophy Illucidae, Ph.D, Ph.X, WIC, writes her advice column from her home in a symbiant dimension. Her research and experience with the paranormal, parareal, and anti-real have made her a much sought after speaker and commentator. She has written several books, including best-sellers, Monsters Among Us; Don’t Fear the Reaper… or Any Other Trans-Planar Beings, and Worlds Apart are Closer Than You Think, and is a regular guest on George Noory’s Coast to Coast AM radio program. Email Pansophy: asksophy AT gmail DOT com with “Seeking Advice,” in the subject line.

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